Blessed are the Fat

Two friends were eagerly sharing how much they loved flying a few weeks ago while at a restaurant for lunch. Both *love* flying. They love being able to focus on work or a personal project without getting interrupted while someone brings them cold beverages and snacks. I stared at the two of them absolutely baffled. I’ve had a number of conversations about flying the past few years, and none of them were about loving flying.

I hate flying. Many of my friends hate flying. Not these two.

I tried to figure out why different friends had such difference experiences. The friends at this lunch happened to both be white passing cis male. One is thin. One is plus size. Most of the friends I remember talking about flying with are mid-sized or fat women. I realize we’re not adding much to the discussion of fat liberation by saying it’s hard to fly while fat, but it is hard to fly while fat even if it is a privileged position to be able to fly at all.

This past spring I sat through two transatlantic flights on my way to and from my cousin’s wedding in the U.K. Going there, the seats were so close together my thigh couldn’t not touch the unknown man next to me’s thigh. I couldn’t get anything out of my bag that was under the seat in front of me unless the man wasn’t in his seat. Then the person in front of me reclined their seat. I couldn’t work on anything, play games, or read the books I’d downloaded because there wasn’t enough space to rest my tablet at an angle I could see. I was already nervous, but I got so anxious it was difficult to focus on a podcast. By the time I got off the flight, I was frazzled from not sleeping a wink. Then I had to navigate Heathrow in that state.

I complained a little about being so uncomfortable on the first transatlantic flight that I couldn’t sleep to a female family friend who promptly told me that she wasn’t fat and was also uncomfortable on flights so I should stop complaining. But there’s a difference between being uncomfortable on flights and being fat and uncomfortable on flights. Yeah it generally sucks to be stuck in one seat for eight or more hours. But this family member could still open her tray table all the way for her meals. She could slip out to use the bathroom unbothered by the armrest. She could still read when the person in front of her reclined. She wasn’t stuck for hours hugging her arms around herself to make herself as small as possible while bruises grew on her thighs.

You can read accounts of other fat peoples’ experiences on airplanes. Aubrey Gordon’s is probably the most well known, and I also recommend Linda’s post over on Fluffy Kitten Party where she talks about flying on her honeymoon. Many fat people experience anxiety before, during, and after flying. Every company has its own “passengers of size” policies which sometimes they don’t even follow. Almost every seat is uncomfortably tiny, even if you’ve paid to upgrade to plus, business, or first class depending on your size. Every passenger has the potential to make your life miserable.

Compared to many other fat people’s experiences like those highlighted by Aubrey and Linda, my discomfort was minor. I didn’t get kicked off the flight. No one publicly shamed me. Even the stranger next to me ignored me as much as he could. On the flight back to the U.S. I lucked out with window seat and a free seat next to me. That meant I could freely use the restroom, get things out of my bag, drink from my water bottle, etc. It was a much better experience that just demonstrated how flying doesn’t have to be as bad as it normally is for bigger people.

One weird thing I noticed on that flight back is that the armrests didn’t fully raise both in my aisle and around me. On the domestic flights I’ve taken in the past few years the armrests have been able to be pushed flush with the back rest. I don’t know if that’s the difference between transatlantic and domestic flights, the fact that I was flying an airline I don’t normally, or if it’s a new thing. It meant I couldn’t scoot over to the empty seat and stand up in the aisle when the seat in front of me reclined. I had to painfully squeeze over the arm rests or under them raised about halfway. The only reason I could think an airline might do this is to make sure people can’t take advantage of empty seats by lying down or just being more comfortable for free. I’m not sure what this particular airline’s passenger of size policy is, but for folks who need two seats I hope there are at least some seats where the armrests can be moved fully out of the way.

To ease my own flying anxiety, I have a litany of things I do. I take direct flights whenever possible. I usually purchase the cheapest upgrade for a little bit more room and to be able to choose to be on the aisle (or the window if it’s a flight I hope to sleep through). I also always mask in airports and on flights so a water bottle with a straw is necessary. The water bottle, Altoids, and ear bud case go into the seat back pocket for easy access. One ear bud is already in my ear when I walk onto the plane. My phone loaded with podcasts gets held so I don’t have to fumble for it. I assume I won’t have access to anything else because it’s almost impossible to pull out a carryon as a fat person in those tiny seats.

Those are minor actions to make my experience of flying a little bit better, and I know some of them are only available if you drop some money . I don’t know exactly how to systematically change the experience of flying for fat people. There are some individual actions we can take. If you sit next to a fat person on a flight, be kind to them. If you’re thin or thinner and end up with an empty seat next to you, you can ask a fat person who doesn’t have an empty seat next to them if they’d like to swap seats. If you see someone harassing a fat person on a flight, intervene.

For systematic change we can of course join with groups working to make the world better for fat people like the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance and the Campaign for Size Freedom. Southwest has recently made changes to their Passenger of Size policy, and you can sign the petition to prioritize accessibility for all body sizes here.

What other things can we do to make flights a bit easier for fat people either individually or systematically?