Blessed are the Fat

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Communion & Disordered Eating

4–7 minutes
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Content Warning: This post discusses disordered eating & morality of food. If you or someone you know is struggling with disordered eating (diagnosed or non-diagnosed), you can learn more at the National Eating Disorders Association website. For general information, listen to Maintenance Phase’s 2021 episode “Eating Disorders.”

The first Sunday of October is always World Communion Sunday, and this year I led the pastoral prayer. I found a few resources, added, edited, and cobbled together an appropriate prayer. While reading the prayer during the service, I found myself hesitating over food language I normally don’t hesitate saying. I suddenly had a thought of an old friend who I haven’t spoken to in years who struggled with disordered eating and wondered how they would have reacted to my prayer praising food and eating as spiritual necessities.

I honestly don’t know a lot about disordered eating, but it’s important to talk about. I know it’s way more common for fat people than is usually thought, and sometimes instead of recognizing & helping disordered eating doctors encourage the disordered eating (especially for fat people). While some folks get diagnosed with formal eating disorders, a lot more people have some kind of problematic relationship with food and/or eating that either isn’t ‘bad enough’ to seek out treatment or just goes unacknowledged. Dr. Erin Harrop on Maintenance Phase’s “Eating Disorders” episode says the average time between disordered eating behaviors starting and someone getting help is 11.6 years! WOW! So there’s a lot of people out there struggling.

A lot of fat liberation work is taking away the cultural morality of food. You’re not being “bad” by eating a piece of cake, and you’re not being “good” by eating a salad. Everyone has the right to eat in the way that’s right for them. The more important issues are things like food insecurity (especially right now), fat shaming, and other structural inequalities. But struggling with disordered eating seems like a special kind of food morality hell that is different for everyone.

As a pastor, there is great joy in bringing fat liberation understanding into the communion experience. God nourishes our spirits the same way the bread and cup nourish our bodies. You’re being energized to go out and do good in the world both as individuals and as a community. I feel strongly about not gatekeeping anyone who wants to come to the Table. I joyfully kneel down to let children choose their own piece of bread and bless them whether they take bread or not. We use grape juice so all can drink regardless of age or sobriety status. We provide options for people with allergies. People who are worshipping virtually choose their own elements and may be physically by themselves trust that the Spirit unites us. No one is alone at the Table.

Many Christians who struggled with disordered eating have found healing at the Table. Dr. Katherine Kelaidis, a practicing Orthodox Christian; the Director of Research and Content at the National Hellenic Museum in Chicago, IL; and someone who struggled with disordered eating wrote,

“When eating had become for me a terror-laden battlefield of shame, secrecy, and guilt, a constant reminder of being unworthy, unloved, rejected, the Eucharist offered another vision of what it can meant to eat, to be fed.”

Dr. Kelaidis’ personal experience is striking. Communion, or the Eucharist in her tradition, worked against the messages that spurred on her disordered eating. This leads me to the question: How can the Table become more inclusive of those who struggle with disordered eating?

Alongside other liberation theologies, fat liberation theology would encourage us first to not make assumptions about people’s experiences. So whatever thoughts I have about this as a pastor I will be bringing to people with the lived experiences of disordered eating. It’s especially important to check in with folks in your own community. What works in one church may not work in another.

I think one simple thing would be to remind people that they can come forward during communion and ask for a blessing in addition to or instead of receiving the elements. Folks can also take one element and not the other. We could offer multiple breads if there’s a kind of “safe” bread for someone to eat. We could offer individual grapes in addition to juice. We could offer to take elements into the church office for those who don’t want to eat in front of others or bring communion to someone in their own home.

Beyond just communion, we can also be mindful of disordered eating as we write/prepare liturgies. Have you replaced the word “see” in the phrase from Psalm 34:8 “taste and see that God is good” to be more inclusive of those who are blind in your call to worship? Maybe replace “taste,” too. “Feel and know that God is good.”

There aren’t easy answers. Food is an essential part of our human existence, and food is complicated for many people. Looking beyond communion and the liturgy, I could spend hours writing about fellowship time, potlucks, cookie exchanges, food drives, and other church activities involving food. I probably will someday, but for now let me leave you with some questions.

How does your congregation or community learn about what is needed for things like communion or other food-related activities?

How does your congregation or community address different needs in communion or other food-related activities?

Who could you talk to in your congregation or community to learn more about disordered eating and how to support people experiencing disordered eating?

Read More – Personal/Pastoral

Read More – Academic

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